It seems no
matter how old I get I can’t seem to stand without guards
Past experiences
all ended up with the same outcome no matter how different the situation
Looking around
everyone seems to be in sync
While I’m all out
of order like a bad dancer trying to salsa
Forced to build a
tough facade to hide the pain and tears
Because of all
the rejection and ridicule of the past, it prevents me from experiencing and
enjoying my future
The wall I’ve
patiently and expertly built is one of perfection
It has become my
companion on what has turned into very low and lonely moments
The wall has done
exactly what I have wanted,
To keep me
isolated from any pain, rejection or humiliation
But that is just
the problem; I have been and continue to be hidden behind my giant wall of fear
As a shy child
the wall always came in handy to hide me from any attention
Now as a teenager
with a voice I feel the wall closing in on me
Like a one way
mirror looking out into the world
But being
silenced and out of the rest of the world’s view
Why is there no
way to break down this wall?
Is it even
healthy to go through life hiding?
Not taking any
chances on love or creativity
Am I doomed to be
just another face in the crowd forever?
Am I just to
accept what I thought was my friend but turned out to be my biggest failure?
Will I forever be
behind this wall?
It is behind this
wall that a shy insecure girl hides
A pretty girl who
desires to show her curves without being ashamed
A girl who longs
to accept herself
A well of
unending creativity and fun that is overflowing
A Latina who is
proud to be a Boricua
An Italian whose
passion is her driving force
A supply of
unconditional love for whoever rescues me from this confinement
Am I supposed to
save myself from this dark abyss or wait for my hero?
Kicking and
hitting has not even budged this wall and because of it no one can hear my
screams of desperation
No one can hear
or see who is behind this wall
No one knows the
completely different attitude that lies here
No one knows what
is really concealed behind this wall
Will they ever?
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