Everytime I Close My Eyes

Every time I close my eyes I can still see it all replaying in my head,

I can still see it all playing out like a movie,

Burned into my memory

Night after night I toss and turn trying to block it all out of my head

But it doesn’t work, the minute I close my eyes I can still hear the empty promises

It all still haunts me wherever I go

People say leave the past in the past

But what do you do when your past haunts you every time you have a moment’s peace?

How do you get over something that you thought was the source of your effortless smile?

How do you forget the little moments

Most importantly the worst fights and heartbreaks?

The minute my eyes close I see it all like a movie that wont go away

Do you know what it feels like to close your eyes and watch yourself making the same mistakes over and over but never being able to stop yourself?

I’m afraid to close my eyes

To be haunted by the memories of what I can’t have

Why do you have to be there?

Why do I have to feel it all over again

Wasn’t the first time more than enough?

The worst part is this torture only exists when I close my eyes

So no one can feel what I carry around

Its what I fight every time I close my eyes